I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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