WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
