Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
4 words: hood of his car
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
