ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
