At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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