Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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