I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
