That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
