Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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