It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I looked at my own cervix.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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