I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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