what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Randomize
