Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
