went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
