he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
