so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
