You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
