I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
