Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
