Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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