i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
