You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
