uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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