I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
