nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
