So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
