So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You made out with two different species that night
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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