Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
