i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
