I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
