Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
