I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
