Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
