Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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