i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
