I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
