let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
