literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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