I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
