I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
