I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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