She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
