Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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