Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize
