I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
