the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Help. Why am I so naked?
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