actually, I'm a sock model
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
