Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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