a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
