the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
