I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize