there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
