I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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