Who wears a wallet chain?!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
